I need my horseshoe back. I think I'll check ebay. There must be another idiot out there that would dare to give theirs away too.

RJ and I thought we'd go on a date.
It ended in my first ambulance ride.
This is how the story goes:
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So, RJ and I thought we'd take advantage of our live in babysitter (aka grandma) and we'd go see the new Bond flick. I had a stomach ache, but hey, it was just indigestion, right? I popped a few Tums and off to the movies. It was getting progressively worse, but I thought that it would go away, it always does. But, after the credits started rolling, the thought of sitting there in pain for the next 2.4 hours was too much. Luckily we got our money back and left.
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I went straight to bed and the pains were terrible. Every two minutes too. Terribly mysterious. I took some ibuprophen and that didn't help. Finally at 2am, I couldn't take the pain any more. I couldn't fathom the idea of riding in a car (the car ride home from the movie was still fresh in my memory banks) so RJ called an ambulance. They weren't too pleased when they showed up. They said "Are you SURE that an ambulance is what you need?" and then when RJ said he'd follow me in the car they said "Why didn't you just drive her yourself?" I must have been keeping them from a cricket game or something. Anyhoo, after they saw how much pain I was in, they started being nicer.
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At the hospital, they suspected appendicitis. Thought they'd do a laparoscopy surgery to see what's going on, and then take the appendix out. But first had to wait for the ultrasound. They found a whole bunch of fluid, which meant something burst, but they didn't know what. They thought then it could be a burst ovarian cyst. That fixes itself, so, I could go home in the afternoon. But, then I was still in grave pain and a vomitous mess so the surgery was back on. I also had a seemingly unrelated symptom of a distended bowel (with all bowel mechanics working properly, this proved mysterious). Surgery on. Surgery off. Surgery on. Surgery off. I was waiting for Dr. House to show up at my bed accusing me of swallowing Zoe's hair elastics, getting passed through a small hole in some lining, choking some follicle causing it to burst. This, of course, all simultaneous with House's team breaking into my home to search for mold. (If you don't watch House, just ignore those last two sentences).
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Well, consensus is that I had a burst ovarian cyst. Worst two days of my life. I am still in pain from this unrelated distended bowel thing, but I'm on the mend and avoided the scalpel.
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At least I got to ride in an ambulance.
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